Struggle Day

The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow. Don’t give up. - Robert Tew

You’ve got good days and you’ve got struggle days. We flourish on good days. They are amazing. We are on cloud nine with those days. But put us in the struggle days and life is over. We can’t bear to live one more second. We ask God if He is ever going to save us. Meanwhile He’s probably thinking I saved you last week. Last night. This morning. Five seconds ago when you didn’t trip and smash your head into that concrete wall. 

It’s easy to fall down but much harder to climb up. We have to put in the work. We have to be determined enough to not let it swallow us. We have to be the ones to dig in our heels and say Not Today. When my husband died that was my mantra. It felt like everything was trying to get me down. Trying to make me drown. Trying to make me give up. But every time I looked at my two little girls I knew I had to do this. For them. I had to make it. For them. As easy as it would have been to just join their dad in heaven I chose the harder path. But I could not do it alone. I needed to do it with someone. So I picked the best partner in the world. God. I would look up and get up. Breathe in strength and breath out weakness. Everyone was shocked when I put my girls into the car after the burial at the cemetery, got in and drove home. They offered to drive me. They offered to help me. But I knew one day the offers were going to falter because everyone has lives to get back to. They all have their own problems and struggle days. I couldn’t depend on humans. I needed to depend on God. 

It’s amazing how you can go through different trials and react differently to each one. It’s also amazing how each one makes you think you will not survive. Because we have forgotten what we just went through. We forgot who’s butt we just kicked. We forgot the hill we just climbed. I went through a bloody diamond war. But I felt the mouse in my house was going to be the death of me. I came to a new country as a refugee and had to figure out my life at the age of 17. But I felt if I didn’t get the promotion at my first job I would lose my mind. It’s crazy how fickle we can be. 

God must honestly sit and laugh at some of the things we do. Some of the things we stress about. Some of the things we cry about. Some. There are those trials that are real and deserve all of the tears and hairs and wails. I’m not a wailer and I have wondered why. Was it tacky that I didn't fall to the ground crying? Did it mean it didn’t hurt me as much? No. Everyone reacts differently because we are all different people. God made us all unique in our own special way. So just because you don’t do things a certain way it's because you weren’t supposed to. You weren’t supposed to be anyone else but you. I always hear Rick Warren in my head saying God is not going to ask you if you did certain things enough. He’s going to ask if you were the best person you could be. 

So struggle day, how can I be the best me on a day like this? I can play my gospel music to remember God’s love. I can remind myself I’m loved by hanging out with the people God has placed in my life. I can watch a comedy that makes me laugh and forget my troubles. And then I will most importantly take it to God. He’s running the place why not speak with the manger ;)