About That Next Time…
“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
We had a first time. The first time sucked. It hurt and caused so much pain that it left behind a scar. Whether it was a ruined relationship, a miscarriage, a disease. Whatever you were going through, you survived it and thought the worst was over. You fought hard, you made it through, you are done. And the hope was still there. Even after that painful journey, the hope to try again lingered. It will be better in my next relationship. I will have a smoother pregnancy this time. Those cancer cells are dead and gone and I now have a second chance at life. Things will be better this time. This will be my happy ending. It tried to end me but failed. So future, here I come.
Then it happens….again. You find yourself right back. The very place you never ever wanted to be in again. You didn’t want to ever feel that pain again. That loss, that fear. You were supposed to be free. To have that chance for a happy ending. This time it hurts so much… maybe more. We thought this would be our happy ending. We thought things would be better or go smoothly. Why are we here? Why is it like this? Do I not deserve it? Did I do something wrong? Does God not love me?
Now we have a new feeling added in the mix of everything else. Disappointment. In us? In life? The questions can be overwhelming. Your ‘again moment’ may not even be a second time. It could be a third or fourth or even fifth time. It’s been exhausting and seems like it just won’t end. You are not wrong for getting angry. You are not wrong for reacting in any way that you choose.
At this time, I wish there was something magical that I could say to make it all go away instantly. There are ways we can ease the pain or feel strong again.
But the truth of the matter is that it sucks!
So, here is your place, here is your space. The time for you to scream out that frustration. The time for you to let it all out. Let out that anger. Let out that grief. Let out that frustration. Because you deserve it. You deserve to have that moment to say what you’re feeling. To say what you’re thinking. To just ask the why questions. To wonder, to hope, to pray.
You are allowed to feel however, you want to feel. Once you have screamed it out, once you have let it all out, once you have just cried it out. Sit in this moment. Just sit. I want to now send you hugs and love. And let you know that this is not how your story ends. It does get better. It does improve. It changes and joy is going to come your way. Because you were not meant to go through the cycle of sadness forever. You were not meant to stay stuck here. You were not meant to only have pain. That joy, that beautiful thing that’s made just for you is still out there and you will receive it.
Don’t lose hope in your again moment. Give yourself love. Give yourself time and hold on to God. He hasn’t forgotten you. He loves you. He sees you. He grieves with you. Nothing lasts forever. Continue on this journey holding his hand through conversation, prayer, worship. It does get better but not always in the way we expect.
Does that heartbreak feel overwhelming? Is it too strong to bear? I’ve got words for you.
We have many struggles in this world and there is one who gets it all because he has experienced it.
As tempting as it is to get back at the person who hurt, even if it seems easy, consider giving it to God
Holding on to a situation, hurt or person can be more harmful than we know. Why should we make that leap to letting go.l
The reason for why something happened can nag at us. Hopefully these steps bring you peace.
How do we know the struggle we are currently going through is because of our past? It takes time to process and analyze.
Circumstances may not look like it is even possible. So is it even possible for a happy ending to occur? DO they even exist?
That break up may feel like a tornado just blew through and not much is left behind, but you, my dear, have so much right now.
Sometimes we experience so much loss in our lives that at some point that loss takes on a life of its own and becomes more than we want to handle. Have we become bitter?
It’s so hard to be in this position especially when all we want to do is get out. Here are some steps that will help us.
It’s important to allow ourselves time to grieve. But how do we know we even are in a situation where we need to grieve.
Finding a way to get our emotions out can be healing and revealing. But we can’t always say what we want or how we feel. Here’s something that helps.
As much as we want to go after the one who hurt us, it is not our job. It is not up to us to handle everything. There’s someone who’s got us!
We are tempted many times to take the battle into our own hands and fight our enemy. But here’s a reminder that the battle belongs to the Lord.
Betrayal is deep. Not only can it hurt us to our emotional core, but it can then transcend into our spiritual core. But God has a plan to use that betrayal and propel us to the next level.
When your heart breaks whether by death or breakup or any sort of loss your emotions can be all over the place. Unfortunately for us we are now on a journey we must go through. But with time we will get through it.
If there is one thing I have learned is that time is a necessary part of healing. It’s part of the complete package. Processing what happened being part of this.
We can say we forgive someone but just saying it doesn’t mean you are doing it. Sometimes we have to go deeper to see if we really do. There is a great blessing when we get to the bottom of it.
One day God told me to pray for the man who purposely hurt me. I absolutely did not want to. I wanted him to suffer. It’s one thing to forgive but to pray for him to be blessed?!
Healing is a process that can be different for everyone. So how do you know you are going through it?