What Does Healing Look Like

“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls your life.” - Ashkay Dubey

There are so many things I could say about healing. Healing is a process. Healing is hope. Healing is hard. Really, truly, very hard. But healing is worth it. Healing is protective. Healing is helping. Healing is slow so there’s no way to rush through it either. Trust me I’ve tried. Healing looks like steps forward and steps backwards. Healing does not always look the same for everyone. However, if you are curious to know if you are on that healing path here are some signs to look for. 

1. Being open to healing is the first step. If you are willing to stop and take steps towards your healing you have officially stepped onto the path and I would like to welcome you on your journey. It’s like they say. Being willing to admit you have a problem is the first step. 

2. Have you looked into ways or methods that you want to take to your healing. Researching is a big step. You want to find the right therapist, the right program, the right mindset etc. in order to keep moving forward. 

3. Speaking of moving forward, once you begin you will take steps backwards. When you feel like you are failing at it over and over again understand that you are actually in the right place. Healing is not an all forwards motion. These steps we take back are just as important. (Add link here for steps backwards post)

4. Healing is hard for a reason. You must revisit the places that hurt you. Looking forward only will have you pretending it doesn’t exist or avoid facing it. Do you find yourself facing the hurt and not running from it?

5. However, I’m not saying immerse yourself in it. Give yourself time to breathe. But not too much. Then you will find yourself running from the problem. It’s all about balancing. It helps to have support and an expert to help. 

6. Those around you may not know what to say or do. But if you find yourself eagerly looking for someone who does, it is the best thing you could do for yourself. This walk should never be done alone. Have I said how hard it is? They will be there to pick you up and encourage you. 

7. Boundaries are a great way to protect yourself while healing. Are you rushing into another relationship or situation or are you pausing and giving yourself a break. It’s so beneficial for you and for those around you. Protecting yourself in this down season is highly necessary. 

8. Treating yourself is great. In fact it’s fantastic. You may have had your heart broken or been dragged through the mud. That self love act is something you are very much deserving of. Don’t continue to do their job and beat yourself up or punish yourself. In fact this is the fun part of healing. Remember, I said it was hard. Why skip recess?

9. Did you take time to grieve? Whatever happened to you produced hurt and suffering and the tears and words need to be released. They need to be given their moment to flow or else you’ll be creating a storm as you store it all in. 

10. Forgiveness is huge and I can’t stress that enough. Forgiveness for yourself and the other/others. It’s again another form of release. But instead of a storm, it grows something worse and scary inside. Anger. Bitterness. Self pity. Revenge. Hate. The list continues. It’s a poison that blocks our blessings from being released because now we have something to repent for as well. 

11. Fear surprisingly is a part of your healing journey. At least I was surprised. Fear has a way of controlling you and plays a part in running away, avoiding or even going on the  attack. In order to heal we must work on not acting through fear but putting our confidence in God who did not give us the spirit of fear. 

12. Sharing your story has a fine line. It comes in two parts. One, sharing it to help someone and two, sharing it to hurt them. One of these is the healthier option (hopefully you’re thinking the first) and we must be aware of which we are doing. 

However you go about getting your healing, seek God. It’s easy to get mad at Him or to blame Him for allowing the pain to enter our lives. I know. I’ve felt myself actually go that route. But in the end, I learned He was hurting with me. He was leading me and guiding me through it all. If I hadn’t gone through what I went through, I wouldn’t be here hoping to share, guide, help and support those who are hurt. He takes what the world hoped to hurt us with and turns it to good. 

God guided me through these steps on my healing journey. I’m not special that He would only do that for me. We all are special. We all are loved. So if He did it for me He will do it for you. And if you are already doing some of the things in this list I know you’ll make it because God is the best healing partner you could ask for. He gave me strength to make it through every time I fell down weak. I told you! It’s hard! You’ve got this!