Understanding Why

Understanding why something happened does not help to reduce the problem. - Richard Bandler

 There have been moments in my life and events that I’ve looked to God and asked why. Why was this allowed to happen? Why did I not make it? Why could it not come to pass for me? Why is such a big question when it comes to our walk in life , especially for those big things that impact us deeply. Sometimes I have received the answer and sometimes I have not, There are times I look at the situation backwards and can understand that there was a reason for why it took place. However the times you look at it backwards, forwards, up and down and don’t understand, it makes you wonder and ask and wait for that answer. An answer that may never come. So what do you do in that scenario.

1. Stop overthinking it.

   I am guilty of this. Sadly in so many areas but we will focus on this one for now. I replay the situation in my head, trying to figure out why it happened, and guessing possible reasons. Then turning it upside down and trying to guess what God must have been thinking when it happened. Yes, I would honestly try to get inside God’s head. The dangerous overthinking path can surely get us in trouble. No matter how much pondering I do, I won’t know unless God decides to reveal the reason to me. So it becomes a waste of energy trying to guess and figure it out. Energy that could have been used in a much better way. Such as coping through it or healing. Please stand down and let Him be the one to show you if He so chooses.

2. Release the need to know

   It's time to release and let go of the insistence that it's the only way to move forward. Release the reliance on having all the answers and let go of the need for understanding. It's tough but essential for what lies ahead. You might feel stuck, not knowing why, after a sudden departure, but remember, a new blessing is on its way. Closure would have come if needed, like in other situations. If you're still in the dark, it's not the right time yet. Instead, take steps towards your bright future that awaits you.

3. Trust the outcome

   Maybe thinking of walking into the future without your why looks bleak. Maybe it feels like there is no hope. You felt this pain severely and you need something to help ease it. Instead of worrying about how it negatively impacts you, pause and think about the One who carries you. No matter what the event or situation is, He is still in control. It may feel like He dropped you but He has never left you. He is guiding you to where you need to be. The confusion from not understanding the full story can be a breeding ground for worry. Please don’t let those seeds of doubt come through. Don’t let the anger rise up from assumptions of a made up why. Don’t let the sadness seep in from thinking you deserved it or any other thought along the lines. Good will still come out from this. ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.’ (Romans 8:28)

4. Focus on the present

   Whatever we put our focus on is where our energy goes. It may seem natural to dwell on the reasons behind things, but this tendency often leads us away from the beauty of the present moment. We should strive for our energy to be truly productive in our daily lives. Instead of fixating on problems, let us direct our attention to the here and now. Persistent worrying serves no purpose; it only serves to immobilize us. Refuse to let anxiety hold you back from embracing all the opportunities awaiting you in the days ahead. This moment will help you grow and the next steps will help you glow.

For the longest time I wanted to understand why my late husband had to die. Why were we destined to be left behind as a single parent household. An answer I would not be given but I allowed it to keep me in the past holding out for an answer. But the question becomes, would knowing why have made my journey easier? Would I have been able to heal faster? Would joy have returned back to my heart? No. Not even a little bit. Me focusing on it only kept me back. Kept me holding on to my grief and not wanting to move on. But I needed to move forward to my purpose. My children needed their mom to be fully present. Understanding why can be hard to let go, but I believe in you and know you won’t let it block you from your purpose.