You are Enough
Comparison is the thief of joy - Theodore Roosevelt
There is no standard way for how things should be or go. No matter what people tell you or the world tells you. We are all made different for a reason. If we were supposed to look a certain way the world would be boring. Can you imagine waking up to billions of you all around the world? We wouldn’t have different parts of a band. Just everyone playing the trumpet. God made us different on purpose.
Every woman is not supposed to have an “amazing” body. Healthy, yes. But the world used to tell us that skinny was the only way to go. Then they “discovered” big was cute too. Big was always cute. Skinny was always cute. What makes it cute is you believing and knowing that you are cute. That’s it. Old or young. Tall or short. When God made us He said they are good. Then He blessed us. (Genesis 1:28)
When I first got married, I took the standard seriously. I let it define my relationship. I believed I needed to be a great cook, homemaker and caretaker while having a great career. Everything had to be perfect. Clearly, it’s not a surprise I stressed out under all this pressure. My husband had to remind me that we make our own standards based on who we are as a couple which was already set during the dating period. So why was I trying to change the settings to match the world! Not being able to do all these things doesn't make you lazy or slacking or weak. Working hard is great, but we all have limits. Listen to your limits.
Comparison is the killer to your worth, your joy, and your peace.
There will always be someone better and faster and stronger. That’s why the only person we need to compare ourselves to is who we were in the past. When you compare yourself to who you were 5 years ago, you’ll recognize the improvements or setbacks you have made. It helps you and doesn’t hurt you as the other comparison does. I understand that it’s hard because you can easily find photos and videos of happy families or amazing trips and vacations or breathtaking homes and mouthwatering meals. But in those moments remind yourself you don’t want their problems. Everyone has a storm that brings on the rainbow. If you want their rainbow, are you prepared for their storm? They may look like problems don’t even exist for them. Trust me they do. Everyone goes through something. Without a doubt, you will prefer your rainbow that is on its way.
It’s deceiving to think that comparing yourself to someone beneath you is a good idea too. You’re introducing yourself to pride. It’s not boosting your self-esteem. It’s putting yourself above them. Your low self-esteem just gets worse, because instead of healing it you are covering it up temporarily. The moment there is no one you can find beneath you, your insecurities are officially in control. There is no sitting contently. Instead, you suddenly feel like you are surrounded by everyone better and it’s a heavy sinking feeling. Your comparison switch was already turned on so you can’t turn it off now. It’s best to just stay away from that switch.
That’s why I want to remind you that you are enough. There is no other you. We could search this entire universe and not find one person that has every single quality, upbringing, DNA and skill that you have. You are needed. Instead of looking out, look within. Apples should not be compared to tomatoes. Just because they are red doesn’t mean one is better than the other. They both have their strong suits. So don’t compare yourself to anyone else either!
Healing is a process that can be different for everyone. So how do you know you are going through it?