The Secret To Joy

“The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances in our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives. “ - Bob Goff

If I were to ask you where you placed your joy, what would your answer be? Pause and think for a second. Is it in a goal? Is it in your dream? Is it in a thing? Maybe it’s getting married or having kids or that job promotion. We all want joy. Pure, absolute and complete joy that makes us laugh and smile and gives us the happiness we’ve always imagined. As we go through life we pick a source and sometimes that source of joy changes. 

MARRIAGE

When I was a kid, I dreamed of getting married and having kids. I couldn’t wait for the day of finding my true love. I was an absolute Disney girl. I wanted my prince to find me and we lived happily ever after. At age 23, it happened for me. It was my best friend. We got married, and it should’ve been the happiest moment of my life. However, I put a lot of dependence on this man to make me happy. If we didn’t feel in sync then my happiness was gone. This was not how I remember the fairy tales going. Especially when I had to bury him in complete loss 8 years later.

KIDS

Having my kids was pure joy. I fully enjoyed being pregnant. It was an absolute dream come true when I became a mom. Seeing the little fingers and toes on each of my babies the day they were born was pure bliss. I could not have asked for anything more. My life should’ve been complete. In some ways it was because I have been so blessed with amazing kids. But it wasn’t the joy that lingered constantly forever through ups and downs of stresses that came into my life. 

WORK

Having that passion to work in TV was exciting. I was over the moon the day I became a newscast director. At the time, it was not something that one could get into easily and I felt so elated the day it happened. This is joy. This was an accomplishment in my career. I even became the first black director at my station. Another accomplishment. However, this was still not the type of joy that lingered through everything that happened to me every day. I couldn’t drown myself in it because when everything settle down, pain or sadness would still sneak in.

I couldn’t try and distract myself because that was always temporary as well.

There’s so many things in life that we try to turn to for joy but none of them are the full and complete answer. Whether it’s drinking or TV or friends or love or money. As tragedy happened in my life, I started to turn closer to God. I held onto him. I cried to him. I talked to him. He was a comforter, I found, and soon that relationship started to evolve. It started to change to teacher, guide, father, and helper. It started to take shape differently as my path in life changed. With each new season, I was shown what to focus on. I was shown where to go. Anytime I fell, I knew I could turn to God and He would pick me up.

One day, I realized that the answer was right there in front of me.

The answer had been with me all along. The answer to complete joy was with the One I was talking to every day. He is the only constant thing in my life. Through all of the changes I went through and the ups and downs He was the only one that never changed. He was the only one that was always there. He was the only one that could actually give me peace on a very stressful day and unspeakable joy. The day I realized this, I was still in the middle of what was not a perfect life.

We think once we get that perfect life everything will be good.

But here I sat in the middle of a mess, feeling peace and joy that I’ve never experienced because He gave me my purpose. He showed me what I was made for. I was so excited to begin and to start doing it. I was made to encourage, to uplift and to be His daughter. Through it all, I am so thankful. I sit here writing and pouring it out because I want you to discover the same. The journey is the important part. As you get to know Him and see how He feels about you, you too will realize you’ve been searching in the wrong places. The secret to joy has been here the entire time, free of charge, accessible whenever and always unlimited.