Fuel Up

“There are two ways to get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you; to dream bigger, to work harder” - Taylor Swift

When you’re trying everything to be happy and it doesn’t work. You’re listening to happy music. You’re saying your affirmations. You’re reading positive blogs or the promises of God directly from His word but it still hurts. There are moments where you are not as sad as you could be but the pain is still lingers. Does anyone understand what I mean? When I had to start co-parenting my one year old it was a very hard transition for me. Like most, I had the dream of my family being a unit. Not separate units. I never imagined that I would not be there for my baby boy’s every moment. That there would be nights where his mom couldn’t rub his back to sleep. Or days where I couldn’t hear his sweet laugh. 

To cope I would do everything I could think of. I talked and cried about it with my best friend. I would worship God and praise Him because I knew all things were for our good. I would remind myself that he was safe and that he was okay. But the pain would always linger. I would try to find a reason for why this was happening. Maybe if I could figure it out it would ease the pain. I felt like the crazy guy with the crazy bulletin board solving the world’s biggest crime. First, I never figured it out. Second, it started to drive me crazy. 

I tried a different route. I would keep myself busy every moment so I couldn’t think about the pain. I made plans like a professional event planner. I was barely home. Soon all that did was exhaust me and yearn for a break or even a nap. That’s the other thing. I wasn’t sleeping well. Yup. The anxiety was now keeping me up. This pain had to go. I needed peace. I turned to God. He gives peace beyond measure. He is the source of our joy. I’ll just ask. So I did. I claimed my peace and joy and jumped out of bed. By the time I was in the shower I was crying. What was going on? 

I wasn’t depressed. But the pain. It was nagging me and I couldn’t shake it. Then one Thanksgiving day as I drove home with an empty car seat it dawned on me.

The pain wasn’t going away because it had a job to do and that job hadn’t been accomplished yet.

What was that job? Pushing me to do something amazing. There’s an amazing woman I follow on Instagram named Shaina West aka Samurider. She was in a crazy car accident years ago. Soon afterwards she lost her job and her boyfriend broke up with her. What a painful moment to be in. But it didn’t stop her. She didn’t just give up and hold on to her sadness. She took that pain and turned it into fuel. She took her love for Martial Arts and Anime began her new journey. While in her hospital bed she started to watch martial arts videos and began to teach herself this new skill. Through her pain the amazing Samurider was born. She is now an actor, certified personal trainer and stunt woman with a large social media following. Please look for her videos when you get a chance. I say this as a super fan.

There are millions of people who pushed through pain to accomplish some really incredible things. Let’s be one of those people. Let’s not waste our pain. It starts with looking into our passions and pursuing them. Here’s to an amazing journey!