Be Intentional

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. - Ephesians 5:15-16

Be intentional about finding God. Don’t wait for a big bang. or a big flash of light. He comes in a whisper so because of that whisper, we have to be attentive. It’s like the whisper game. If you’re not paying attention, you will not understand what that person just said to you. So we have to be intentional. 

God is in the big things as well as the little things. Many little things can add up to a big thing so imagine how many things you missed that happened to you in one day where there was no big thing. God was still in it. He is always intentional about building a relationship with you. He wants you to understand the love He has for you and the plans He has for you. He wants to bond with you as your father. So He is waiting and has been waiting since you were born. The ball is now in our court to be intentional about it.

When my husband died, I had to be intentional. It's easy to think He doesn’t care about us during loss. My thoughts were everywhere. How could He let this happen? Where was He while I was crying? Why was I here? I had so many questions in the pain but I knew I had to be intentional. Intentional in looking for ways God was still there with me. It was very, very hard, but I refused to believe that in my darkest moment, I was alone. So where did I find my answer? In His word. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3) Father to the fatherless, defender of widows - this is God, whose dwelling is holy. (Psalm 68:5) Knowing this was his word gave me such hope I would save these and read them over and over as I searched for more.

I also found Him in the love that surrounded me in this difficult moment. The flowers I received; the money raised to help pay for the funeral; the visitors sitting by my side making sure I ate; the gifts brought for my kids at their first Christmas without a dad; The kinds words spoken to me. I could go on and on. Life wasn’t suddenly easy. The doubts still crept in and the struggles still arose with this new chapter in my life. But knowing I had someone walking with me when I sat alone in bed trying to figure out the bills gave me hope. That hope carried me through the darkness. It prepared me for the next chapter.

When I was going through my second marriage this hope helped me cling tighter to God when I felt so much confusion pain and hurt. To have the one you love tell you how terrible you are and how awful your choices are can be detrimental to a person’s self worth. However, the people that would contradict that daily and tell me I am beautiful or that I am a good person, I knew God was speaking through them reminding me to not believe the lies. When you feel like your cup is empty you have no desire to pour into others and yourself included. God found ways to hold my cup and fill it for me. The strength and wisdom He gave me in this difficult emotional abuse journey was so meaningful it built my faith in Him so much more. This faith carried me through the eventual divorce and coparenting. I believed that He would rescue me and my children from the terrible situation I was in. He sure did!

God gives you air to breath, food to taste, songs to enjoy, people to laugh with, breathtaking views and so much more. God is in so many little things if we paused to look and take note that it’s Him working in your life your perspective would change. Take a moment to praise and worship a God who is in your big life moments and your little ones. Also pause to talk to Him. He is the best listener. Talk about whatever you are feeling. Get it all off your chest. Cry with him, laugh with. Be with him in any moment. “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” (‭‭Psalms‬ ‭55‬:‭22‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

No matter how crappy you feel or how much pain you are in or how afraid you are, God is with you and He will never leave you. However, it is not always obvious so be intentional in your search for Him. I guarantee you will find Him.