A Blessing and a Curse

“Don’t let the abundance of God’s gifts cause you to forget him.” - Unknown

I am a capable person. I like to plan things and be organized. I like to make sure that when there’s a problem, I solve it. There’s nothing that I give up on. I keep fighting till it's done. However this is a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because I’m able to do things to take care of my family and those around me. It’s a curse because sometimes I forget to allow God to handle things. Instead I take over for him. I try to run the show when it’s not supposed to be me. That is when I get in trouble.

As I grow older I’m finding that I need to have a boundary for myself. Like the boundary for others this boundary for myself is to protect me from me. When God wants to step in, I step in before he can. I start to do the things that I should have let him handle. I start to plan the things that he had already tried to plan for me. Then I find myself in hot water feeling overwhelmed. I feel myself drowning because I feel like there’s so many things I’m carrying. The sad thing is I wasn’t even supposed to be carrying it in the first place. But because I’m capable I figured I need to carry this. Just because you’re strong doesn’t mean you were meant to lift it. There are things that we need to place in God’s hands trusting and knowing that he will take care of them. We weren’t put on this earth to take care of ourselves and keep it moving. As a father God wants to take care of us. But we don’t always allow him because we’re capable. We have now put that boundary up against him.

So the boundary I need to put up against myself is instead up against God.

It’s no wonder I woke up one morning crying. I felt that there was so much on my lap. I was trying to protect my children. I was trying to provide money for this family. I was trying to be the best mom I could be. I was trying to be the best friend I could be. I was trying to be the best coworker I could be. But somehow along the way, I lost the part that God was supposed to play. With no opening how was God going to take over and be my father. I had run so far in my race I couldn’t find where the finish line was anymore. I had completely lost my way. All along he should’ve been in the plans. All along he should’ve been guiding my way. But when you’re capable you feel like you’ve got it. It’s a blessing and a curse. Thankfully, it’s never too late to cry to God for help.

There are many scenarios that are blessings and curses. A brilliant mind, high sensitivity, anything that operates at a high skill level. On the outside, we envy them. We think that they have everything because they’re rich. We think that they have nothing to stress about because they’re so talented, but it’s a blessing and a curse. The thing that’s missing from it all, if we’re not careful, will be God. No matter how much you know about anything, no matter how fast you are or how strong you are or how capable you are, start with God and include him every step of the way.