How Do You Trust Again?
When you fully trust someone without any doubt, you finally get one of two results: a person for life or a lesson for life - Unknown
When we have gotten hurt in relationships, we have talked about forgiving and letting it go. Two different challenges that are good for us to move on in our growing and glowing. But eventually we will find ourselves with the question of how do we trust again. Especially when that trust was shattered completely by our last relationship. It’s even scarier if that wasn’t the first time our trust has been shattered. Well, the only way we can learn to trust again is…by trusting again.
Think of it like football or any other sport. If you get hurt, you must go through the healing process. Sometimes it takes a while and sometimes it’s quick, depending on the damage. Jumping back too soon into the game will have you playing wonky and all off. Barely making any goals. You risk injuring yourself again and possibly worse than the first time. So, it is best to heal as much as you can. Once you have done your part to heal, you’re ready to play again. So how do you play again?
By heading right back into the very sport that hurt you.
It is scary knowing someone could hurt you again. Fear can rise up immediately at the thought. If you feel fear too strongly, don’t feel like you have to do it at that time. Go at your pace. Give yourself more time. Mentally, you don’t want your anxiety leading you. Your vision will be blurred. You won’t catch the red flags or any other signs. Fear will be in every step you take. As you get stronger don’t focus on the hurt and pain of the past. It will cause you to hesitate as you play. Focus instead on what you learned from that last play and do it differently this time around. That gives you an advantage.
Please don’t get tempted to close yourself off completely. It sounds like the easier road. Can’t get hurt if you’re not in any relationships, right? However, you risk isolating yourself. God made you for a community. Not to be alone. One iron sharpens another. Thankfully trusting again doesn’t mean diving in headfirst. Dip your toe into that pool first. Trust with a little before you trust with a lot.
The good thing is that you will not be returning back into the “game” alone. You will have your coach guiding you and leading you. God will be with you every step of the way. Just as He was with you as you were healing and growing. Keep Him in your prayers and in your mind. Listen for His voice as you start to make choices and decisions. In the end you will come out on top. Let fear be the only losing team here.
Healing is a process that can be different for everyone. So how do you know you are going through it?