Hurt That Won’t Let Go

Every pain gives a lesson and every lesson changes a person. - FunkyLife.in

Ever feel like a hurt just won’t let you go? Like you are that cat that has made peace with the random thread laying on the ground. Suddenly it starts shaking, distracting you and moving you from where you are supposed to be. I have had that moment with different times of my past in different times of my present. I couldn’t shake the memories of my high school bully while I was in college. I couldn’t shake the memories of my first heartbreak in my new relationship. Now imagine being an adult and thinking I am grown. I am wiser. I have lived a life. I know better. But now here comes a new hurt trying to nag at my heel. I don’t know about you but it pisses me off. Ha! I thought I was past this. I thought I had completed the steps and checked off all the boxes. I was now ready to open the door to my next season. I was ready to now move on to my next moment in life. Then comes the test. 

It might come as a memory. You hear a laugh the way they laughed. It might come as an identical situation. You trip and fall in front of everyone at the big meeting like you did at your iconic high school walk across the stage. It might come as the actual cause of the hurt trying to disrupt your life. Your dad that left you so many years ago wanting to see you but you obviously know it’s only for money. It comes in different ways that really try to affect us. But you know what. No matter how it comes it sucks! Yup! No quick fix. No immediate relief. It just sucks.

It has taken us back to where we have been trying to avoid.

We have been trying to hold on to our peace and move forward in love and joy. Now we are back to crying and deep breaths and anger. We are clenching fists and grinding teeth. We are pacing and thinking. We feel like we failed a test because it got to us. We wonder how we suddenly got back here. Yes here! Of all the places we want to go to, such as Paris and Hawaii and South Africa we most certainly did not want to be here. 

We don’t have a brochure that guides us through the volcanic paths of pain and out to the other side. There is no tour guide taking us through the rivers of tears and returning us safely to our hotel. There is no fun ride over the mountains of anguish and anger. It’s just Ughs and Nos and Whys. Not the band we were expecting to play that night. So here we are. At the corner of This Sucks and I Hate It Here. But guess what. Like all trips this one will soon come to an end. That hurt trying to hold on to you won’t last forever. That hump will come and then it will go. That peace will return and so will your smile. Just keep hanging in there and keep holding on. Because it will get easier and easier to deal with. One day you’ll wake up and realize that hurt hasn’t gotten a hold of you in a while. And boy will it feel good!