Unfair
“Life with God is not immunity from difficulties, but peace within difficulties.” - C. S. Lewis
I’m going to be honest. This is a word that has crossed my mind on more than one occasion. Mainly for the sake of my daughters. I know it’s a taboo word when it comes to God because He is there for us. He guides us and protects us. He brings all things and turns it into our good. And He honestly truly has. But there are still moments I will see something that makes this word pop into my head. I know I am not alone, that is why I want to write this post.
If anything, God already knows our thoughts, our minds, our everything more than we do. I cannot sit here and pretend that everything that has happened is peachy gravy and I never get mad about it, or wonder about the reasons, or especially feel like it’s unfair. Then I am just a lying liar. I might as well be that kid with crumbs on her face denying I ate the cookie. I ate it and I am not saying it’s right, but it’s there. Sometimes I feel it’s unfair that my girls don’t get to grow up and know the amazing father they were blessed with. Do you have something you sometimes find to be unfair? Denying it won’t make it okay. It will keep coming back up and nagging at you. Trust me I know.
One day I decided to sit down and have a talk with God. Ask Him why? How come? I get to have my dad, why can’t they? I have heard more than once how there are so many not great dads out there, so it’s unfair they don’t have theirs. In my mind I thought, so you do agree. It’s unfair. But what does it mean to be unfair? According to the Oxford Language Dictionary it is defined as ‘not based on or behaving according to the principles of equality and justice.’ We find things unfair based on our own principles. The principles we are taught in this world. However, that does not necessarily mean it is unfair when we see God’s plan and understand the path, He has us on.
If you feel something is unfair, don’t deny it because you are told it’s wrong.
That you must be appreciative of all things that God has blessed you with. That’s true, but it’s okay to get to the bottom of that unfair root. Understanding and gaining wisdom changes the way you view things. God has big plans for us, we don’t realize that certain sacrifices need to be made, and certain trials need to be walked through. One of the most famous Psalms that we recite even mentions it. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” (Psalm 23:4) It doesn't say if. We are all going to go through something that feels so unfair. We can tell ourselves it’s for our good, or that it will be good or that some good is coming from this. That is all true and great reminders. But if you still feel that nagging unfair feeling, go to God with it. Ask Him to help you understand and if it is something you will never understand then ask Him to help you heal.
We can get stuck in the unfair and forget the good that is still around. The pain and anger will want to hold us. It may make us want to turn from God who is trying to show us His love through the unfair. Keep holding on. One day it might make sense and maybe it won’t. But hold on to the one who can bring you through.
Healing is a process that can be different for everyone. So how do you know you are going through it?