It’s Okay to Say No

I can’t tell you the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone. – Ed Sheeran

It’s a fine line doing things for ourselves. Are we being selfish? Is it wrong to have boundaries? Are we not following Jesus’ example in helping others by saying no once in a while? We can’t be afraid of what people think of us. We can’t keep apologizing for not making everyone happy. We will never be able to please everyone. We need to be able to let go of these fears and stresses and just be us. Seriously. Why do we do it? Why is it in us to make sure that we don’t upset sometimes even strangers? Why do we let the fear of what they will think stop us from doing what we want? Even down to making mistakes. We can’t afford those because we will be judged or heads will shake at us. 

First, taking care of yourself does not make you selfish. It’s thinking only of yourself that does. I get headaches. Not the kind a screaming toddler gives. But the kind after giving of yourself, you are exhausted but keep pushing because you feel like you can’t say no. I don’t like to hurt people. I hate to see sadness or be responsible for it. So I do what I can to help. But then when do I stop and say I need a break. When do I get to do me? I struggle with this a lot. Back to Jesus. Remember the stories of him feeding the thousands. Everyday he was surrounded by people who needed and begged for healing. Wherever he went he was in demand. They would climb trees for his attention, come through the roof, grab his cloak. Talk about being in high demand. Jesus was so patient with each one too. He set a really high bar. But no matter what, he would also take the time to pull away from everyone and everything. It would be just him and God. These moments were very important for him and to him. If Jesus needed to take moments for himself, why not us?

Second, who cares what they say or think. The only one who we should really care about is God. Period. If He says it's okay then do it. Shout it. Show it. It’s scary thinking about taking that shot, or not taking it. If it feels right, go with your gut. That first feeling you had when it came to your attention. That’s your instinct. Anything after that is you thinking and rethinking and rethinking. And if you’re like me, rethinking again until you forget what your first instinct was. Let’s keep in mind that we are likely to upset someone each day. If you already feel like it’s going to happen no matter what then, it shouldn’t matter what you do or what choice you make regardless.

Between these two thoughts in your head let’s get those boundaries up and those decisions made. Saying no can be healthy for you. Move with your purpose in mind and protect yourself from being lost to the world. If mistakes are made then we will learn those lessons. Dance like nobody's watching and have fun with it. You are the life of your own party. You are sharing the fun with everyone but it’s up to you to send everyone home so you can settle down and get your rest.