What Now

Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge. - Elkhart Tolle

What now? You lost your job and have a child who depends on you. What now? You just lost the love of your life. What now? The struggle has smacked you in the face and taken your breath away. You have had to pause and try to think. You have had to take a moment. You are not sure where to turn or what to do or who to call. 

When my husband, my first love and father to my two beautiful little girls passed away suddenly in his sleep my mind froze. A week later I finally had a thought. What now? He was leading this family. He was our love. He was my best friend, a great father, a great husband. But just like that he’s gone forever. So what now? 

The next thing that happens is up to you. The ball is in your court. You have to decide what happens next. God made us as beings with free will. He does not tell us what to do. Which is contrary to what some people might think. The Bible has commandments yes but God is not forcing you to do them. He’s not some dictator in the sky ordering his way or the highway. He is guiding us to a better life. Love is what is the most important commandment. So everything God does is through love. And when you love someone you don’t try to control them. You let them be free to do what they want but you try to guide them because you want what is best for them. Especially when you see that cliff drop coming up ahead. So with our free will we get to decide what next step we want to take. And with His love God is waiting right there to walk with you through it and to guide you. He wants to do it all with you.

He doesn’t want to see you struggle through it alone.

So what now? You decide. But can I suggest you take all the time you need first to catch your breath. Once you’ve caught your breath ask God to guide you. It makes sense to call on the one who has infinite wisdom. The one who sees the past the present and the future. The one who knows everything and is everything. You can’t get a better guide than that. After you pray the rest will fall into place.

I know prayer tends to be a last resort. But please don’t try everything under the sun and then ask God for help. Wouldn’t it help to avoid all the pitfalls instead? When I had my what now moment I prayed. I didn’t know what to do or where to turn. Could I survive being a single mom of two? Could I get through the grief that set in my heart? Could I raise my girls in the right direction? God gave me the strength to get up everyday and take steps toward our new future. We had an amazing village that supported us and loved us when we needed. It’s been 8 years and I know God has walked with me through all of it. I am so glad I turned to him first. With my sadness. With my anger. With my fears. With all of it. I am so glad I did and I pray that you will too.