Let’s Go Deeper

“We all agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it.” - C. S. Lewis

There are instances where we say things out loud hoping to believe them and hoping they are true. But the only way to figure that out is if we go deeper. For example, we can always say I forgive you to someone, but do we? I’ve had an instance where I convinced myself I did. I fully believed I had. I’m saying it out loud enough times therefore it’s sinking in. However, there were signs and moments I did not notice before That I hadn’t forgiven them until I actually did.

Think of that person who hurt you. Do you forgive them? I know the answer may seem like yes. But let’s go deeper. And please be honest to yourself with the answer. Here are your questions. If you see them hurt, would you help them? If they have a need would you never want to fulfill it? Do you still feel the urge to hurt them back? Do you find yourself unconsciously doing little things to annoy them like being late or unhelpful? Do you still tell the stories eagerly to others of all the bad things they did? Do you still speak evil of them? Do you try to make sure no one forgets what they did? 

Now remember. We are going deeper which means you need to pause and think to answer these questions. Trust me, back then I would have immediately said no to all of these. Keep an open mind and an eager heart to do the right thing. If the answer is still no that’s great. But if there’s a chance you have not forgiven we need to work on it. To some forgiveness just means letting it all go. Forgiveness means giving love in return to their hate. Forgiveness means erasing that blackboard and starting over. In some cases where they have not changed, don’t forget to do it with boundaries and caution. I mean we are wiser now. 

Forgiveness, however, also means unblocking your blessings.

The Bible says if you forgive then He will forgive you. Basically it is for our benefit. Holding on to anger is an inner poison. God is not saying this to be difficult. He’s pushing you into better. He wants you to see from the outside how you are affecting your inside as well. The freedom from forgiving is an amazing release that takes you to the next level. There’s something better on the other side of that pain. Something amazing! But we can’t get to it by holding on to something else. Taking the time to look deeper is worth it. We want to be sure we are doing what’s best for us. 

Thankfully once you’ve figured out you still need to forgive the moment you decide to do that is it. No long process or long list of things to do first. Just make the decision. Soon you will notice the changes. Your attitude towards them changes. You accept them and no longer avoid them. You have no desire to go back over the list of things they did. No more thinking if something bad happened it wouldn’t be terrible. No more smiling inside if it actually does happen too. The resentment and bitter feelings that tied you to this person will all be replaced with true peace. Freeing you from them. 

There are many other benefits that are included with forgiveness. Unfortunately I can’t write them all today but I do recommend reading a book to help get you there if you’re struggling with making the decision. A good one is Forgiving Others by Frank Hammond. It really helped me and I know it will help you too!