Accept It

Don’t try to understand everything. Sometimes it is not meant to be understood. Just accepted. - Unknown

Now this is a lesson that I had to google to learn. One of many actually but we’ll talk about that another day. You go through life with all its twists and turns but all of a sudden I hit a wall. I was like that computer game where the character’s feet are moving forward but it's not going forward because a wall is up. My divorce was final and I had my future ahead of me. However I couldn't seem to see that future. Why? Because I kept looking back. I kept replaying all the hurts. Not just the hurts from my marriage. No, I went all the way back to my childhood. I was beginning to recall all the wrongs in my life. I was beginning to feel sorry for myself. I was dragging and in desperate need of getting out. Why me was asked a lot. Why couldn’t things be different. I was imagining life as if none of the bad things had happened. I was picturing a different future indeed. One that was not possible. 

It was not a good place to be. Especially when I couldn’t quite hit the nail on the head. What was wrong with me? Was my life going to forever be in this depressed sad state? Then one day it came to me. I needed to let go. I say it came to me but that was the advice I had heard everywhere I went. Isn’t it funny how we only hear things when we are ready to hear them. Months later it finally clicked. So I sat down and googled how do you let go. I wanted to let go of these angry feelings. I wanted to let go of the bitterness. I wanted to let go of any control I was trying to gain from the situation. I wanted to let go of any worry and fear I had. Just actually let go and let God. 

An article I read gave me the first and very important step and changed everything. Accept it. I needed to first accept where I am in life. I needed to accept all the ups and downs. The mistakes. The hurts. All of it. Once I had accepted that it had all happened and that this is what my life is now then I can continue the process of letting go. Whatever you are going through that is making you want to replay over and over in your mind,. whatever is making you want to over analyze you need to just accept it, close that chapter and get ready for the next step. It was so eye opening.

Everything changed for me emotionally after that.

I no longer asked all the whys in my life. Instead it became the reasons for who I am today. I was changed after each major event. Changed for the better. I was stronger. Wiser. Resilient. All of these led to the next step which was to look for the blessings. That was an easy one. I have indeed been blessed with three amazing kids, a great support village around me and most of all love all around. 

Don’t expect to accept something right away. You can’t get shot and accept it all at that moment. The pain is still too strong. It’s just part of the healing process. Just one of the many steps you will go through. When you feel the need to let go, it’s time to accept it.