Let God Heal You

Healing is a process and forgiveness starts the journey, but let God be the driver so you can reach your destination.

Being heartbroken sucks! Whether it happened by betrayal or loss or any other reason it hurts and it's a hurt that you can’t easily put a band aid on. It takes time to heal. Time that we sometimes don’t “have”. Who wants to spend even a minute feeling this way, nonetheless years. But there is a process to healing from heartbreak. It is best to go through the right process so you are made whole again. Because if we do decide to date again we want to be whole and right for the next person. In the same way we would not want to date a broken person ourselves. 

So what is this process you ask? I have found in my experience that first giving your heart to its maker is starting in the right direction. When I lost my husband suddenly to heart failure it was a deep pain I had never felt before. But amazingly in my sadness I could feel God reaching out to me with his love. Through the people he surrounded me with I felt it. In my quiet moments with Him I felt it. I cried and felt lost and hopeless so many times but I always clung to Him through it all. I did this through prayer and letting my feelings out with Him. And yes I did get mad at Him. I did get sad with Him. I did complain to Him. Because I had just lost the love of my life. It felt so unfair! But I did not try to take steps in numbing the pain by immediately jumping into the next relationship. I took time to heal through this grief. I took time to accept my situation. I took time getting stronger through this pain. Then I prayed to God to guide me to my next step. 

Granted my next step turned into a marriage that almost broke me. I questioned God many many times as to why He would bring me here. Had I not suffered enough the first round? Had I not dealt with enough pain? But as Rick Warren says, there is purpose in your pain. This marriage took me to another level of strength I didn’t realize I had. It showed me what I was capable of accomplishing. It showed me my new path leading to my purpose of encouraging. I indeed learned a lot. But there was still the matter of heartbreak that needed to be dealt with. Only this time it was different. I still had to deal with someone who caused me a lot of hurt and pain. I wished multiple times that I didn’t have to, but God showed me that running wouldn’t heal the hurt. I needed to face it. I will admit there were times where I wondered if God was even doing anything. Months went by and I still felt pain. Hello? God are you still there? Yes, He would say. It takes time. 

Next thing I know, I find myself in places with painful memories creating better ones. I found myself improving myself and regaining my self confidence again. As I read my bible and maintained a relationship with God, forgiveness started to creep in my heart. I had to forgive my ex over and over and over. In that time, I had to remind myself what Jesus talked about with forgiving someone 70 times 7. Boy was that true and uncomfortable. But growing is not comfortable. You need to fight through the soil to sprout out as a tiny little bud and still take your time to be a strong beautiful tree. In your healing journey don’t get tempted to take things into your own hands. It causes a detour in your journey. I had ideas of dating before I had any right to. Knowing full well that I still hesitated in my hurt it would have been a full blown disaster and another mess to clean up. You may wonder where you are headed. Or even worry about the future and what it means for you. But stay strong with God. That’s what faith is for. Trusting that He is taking care of you. Trusting that no matter what it looks like around you it will turn out for your good because He loves you.