Are You a People Pleaser?

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” - Galatians 1:10 ESV

There is a fine line between living to help others and living to please others. On the one hand it is a beautiful, gracious thing. On the other hand, you have caused chaos and stress to enter your life. I have found it hard to figure out which side of the line I am standing on. Sadly, most of the time it is the wrong side. I realized I needed to have a way that would push me back on to the right side. Thankfully, there is already a great role model for this. His name is Jesus. He didn’t try to make everyone happy. He was willing to ruffle feathers with others and boy did he. He focused on two things. The job and our character. These two things are what God cares about. 

When Lazarus died, Jesus could have ran to them. Especially since this is what everyone expected and this would have pleased them. But he took his time. Why? For those two reasons. It taught us that God’s time is the most important, not ours. It taught us that there can always be a bigger miracle because nothing is impossible for God and to trust Him despite the obvious. When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.”(John 11:4) It taught us that it’s okay to cry. Jesus wept (John 11:35). There were so many lessons in this one moment that Jesus decided to please God and not man. He did the job right. This is what we miss out on, as we run around looking at man. There are a few things we can do to snap out of this.

Remind ourselves that God is in charge. We make man the idol if we run for them and try to please them, especially out of fear. That is commandment number 1. Ask yourself what Jesus would do. Would he want you to cause yourself anxiety trying to make sure everyone is okay or teach the lesson of how they can care for themselves so they aren’t dependent on you. 

Check your fruit. What are you feeling? Are you anxious or afraid? Give it back to God. Because you are now trying to carry that situation on yourself. You are not God either. My boss asked me to work a Sunday night and as a single mom of 3 it’s not possible because I have to put 3 kids to bed and get ready for the week. Yet here I was stressing about saying no and worried he would not be pleased with me. I was producing the wrong fruit. I was afraid of the wrong one. I was about to jump hoops and make things bad for the first and most important job God gave me. My kids. They are my number one ministry and I almost put them aside for pleasing people. 

Do not rush into anything. There is nothing wrong with making people wait. But do not ever make God wait. He is the only one we obey immediately. You can’t follow him and the world. Someone will be disappointed and you better believe you don’t want it to be your creator. There is a time for every purpose. So don’t be the one to ruin it. 

I know the fear of people not liking you can be real. It’s like being a kid and you have no friends and your mom tells you that she will be your friend. Not that comforting right? Jesus went from being loved to being hated and alone. It doesn’t sound great and it doesn’t sound easy. But He did the job. He did something amazing and He went home knowing He pleased God and that was the most important thing we are supposed to do. It’s up to you now to decide what you will choose to be important in your life. People who will sway with the wind or a God who will never change.