Not Meant To Be Happy

“You deserve happiness. You deserve to be loved just as you love others. You deserve everything.” Lily Collins

That moment has arrived. You start to feel joy inside. It’s amazing. You smile because you can’t help yourself. You are happy. Maybe it’s been a while since you felt joy or maybe it hasn’t. But it’s here and you want to embrace it with your full being. But you stop. Fear starts to creep in. What if it goes away? What if it’s only here for a brief moment? What if everything is ruined again? What if I ruin it? Am I even allowed to be happy? These questions and more start to bring a cloud over your happy moment. Is that guilt now settling in next to fear? It can feel quite overwhelming in that moment and so you push it down because its starting to suffocate you. Your moment is now gone. That was nice you think and you move on. 

Have you ever felt like  you were not meant to be happy? Has there been a pattern of sadness following every single time. It makes sense to feel that way. Why be happy today when you’re bound to be sad by tomorrow. It’s a painful cycle indeed. But it’s not your cycle to keep and today we are ending it. The truth of the matter is our disappointments are happening but we are allowing them to overtake our joys. Whenever something terrible happens we don’t get excited and say ‘Sweet! That means a success is around the corner’. Sadly we get choked up by it and blinded by it. We hope for better and pray for goodness. We don’t even know if anything will get better. Yet it does get better. Every single time. If we made our successes bigger than our joys then the thought process would switch. The fear of happiness going away shouldn’t bring us down. You are on a mountaintop but there are many other mountains you need to explore. The only thing is you have to go through a valley first. 

So journey with me. If you are in a valley now, you are fighting and pushing yourself to get to your mountaintop. The view will be gorgeous and the air fresher. You will have a victory under your foot. But then you look down and possibly see a valley coming. Or maybe you trip and fall into your next valley. Guess what.

That victorious feeling you just had will indeed return.

That next mountain is going to be tough to climb but the top is going to be higher and so much better than the last one. It will be worth it. But please don’t sit down sad on top of your current mountain. You deserve to celebrate this joy. You deserve to enjoy this moment. You deserve to be happy! Claim it and hold on to it. You are worthy of this amazing feeling and I only wish you could have it continuously. However, we are still on our journey. You can’t stay comfortable on that mountain. You have many more wisdoms to learn and strengths to gain. The journey must continue until you get to the finish line. 

So whenever you feel the dread and the sadness or guilt want to creep in, remind yourself. I just climbed this mountain. I will rejoice. You got that job. Don’t stress about the upcoming workload. You got that house. Don’t stress about the bills. You got that trip. Don’t stress about the itinerary. You got that relationship. Don’t stress about the future. You are here right now in this moment. The Bible says don’t stress about tomorrow. “These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.”(‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭32‬ ‭NLT‬‬) When it’s time to go through the trouble and the pressure He will be right there with us. He will be protecting us and guiding us and we will never be alone. Why? Because you are meant for happiness.