Get To Know You

“Don’t be confused between what people say you are and who you know you are.” - Oprah

Sometimes we underestimate the importance of knowing who we are. Not just your likes and dislikes, but your character. I was told once that it’s very important to know who you are because then no one can tell you who you are. This is all part of gaslighting. No one can tell you that you’re always angry when you know your level of patience. No one can tell you you’re dumb when you know you’re just as smart as they are. Possibly smarter. Sadly it can be used as a tool to manipulate us and the best way to fight it is by knowing ourselves well. 

There are ways to get to know you better. Think of it as you dating you. Spend some time alone with you. Ask and answer some personal questions. Don’t be afraid to go deep and be brutally honest. So you hate ice cream. That’s okay. Maybe you think comedies are the worst. That’s fine. You don’t have to go with the crowd or even those in your immediate circle. You could be the only person who loved Titanic and that’s great and don’t let anyone tell you less. Your likes are your prerogative. If they can’t accept it they don’t have to be around it. We can get so scared of upsetting those around us we forget that we matter too.

We are not supposed to confirm ourselves to the pleasure of others.

We are supposed to be who God made us to be and support each other in our roles. Sadly it can start when we are kids and are told to stop being weird or that we do too much of something or we need to change our pattern of thinking. We don’t know that we are being molded by the adults in our lives, not necessarily your parents, into something they approve of. Then it follows into our adulthood. We seek to please, to fit in, to make them feel comfortable even though we are not. 

So it’s time to go back to our roots and start again. Do we really like vanilla or did we just say that because others like it? Watch movies you’ve always wanted to watch. Journal your true feelings and not what you think would be preferred to be read in case you died and they found your journal. Or is that just me? Eat what you want to eat. Take yourself out to that place you’ve always wanted to try and no one does. I bet you would enjoy it because you are in good company. Getting to know you should be fun. However sometimes as you go on this journey you find yourself changing your circle of friends as some accept the new you and some don’t. That’s okay because you wouldn’t want to stay in your undercover role just to keep them. Wouldn’t you rather finally take your shoes off and run everywhere barefoot and be free? I’m doing it! Come join me! It’s more fun when you’re not being yelled at to stop. 

Restrictions are for the road my friend. Not your life. No one should make you feel like a bad person for not being conformed to what they want. You are not being difficult, you just know who you are and are sticking to it. Someone I admire very much gets a lot of comments about how she behaves and lives her life. We live in a social world that allows more of that. In response she turns her head confident in her truth and doesn’t change for them. We are most beautiful when we are ourselves and confident in it. Your light shines through. God made you and said you were perfect. So please, don’t change for someone else.