Do You Need To Grieve?

“Grieving doesn’t make you imperfect. It makes you human.” - Sarah Dessen

 Grieving is important. It is a release. A journey through something hard that gets us to the other side. It’s a major part of healing. Without grieving the load stays on you. And it’s a heavy load to bear. So it is very important to first recognize if you need to grieve and then go through it. I’m not a specialist or therapist but I have had my grieving days. I have grieved loss. I have a grieved pain and I have grieved betrayal. There is no exact timeline for it. There’s no predicting when it needs to come or happen.

Some moments are obvious. Some cases you cannot help but grieve because the pain is so hard. The times you feel strong enough to push it down and keep moving forward are the ones that we need to recognize. Grief is like a load and if you hold onto it and push it down it starts to affect your body your mind and your emotions. A couple years after my divorce I felt I was doing good and that I was in a good place. Then one day I came across an email that reminded me of where I was in my lowest points. It was an apology to my ex husband for existing because I felt, I was a terrible human being and everything he said about me was true. I felt he hated me and I felt that need to apologize for making things hard for him.

Reading that in that moment hurt me to see that I was there once. It hurt me to see that this with someone I was married to. I thought I could read that email and just understand that it’s no longer my life. However I could feel myself losing my energy. I could still see that email in my mind, taunting me. I could not push past it and used all of my energy to try and ignore it. I wanted to push it down. As I found myself running and feeling tears wanting to come down I started to realize what was really going on. I needed to grieve. I needed to cry for that person who wrote the email. I needed to be kind to myself and let that person know it’s okay. To show love and be loved. Sometimes we feel we have to be tough all the time. That it’s weakness to slow down or cry or pause to tend to our needs. 

Taking that time to cry and talk to my Father was the release I needed. Giving Him that load. Allowing love to come back in and giving myself that break. I soon found light seeping back in. My shoulders no longer hunching over. It’s in this moment I realized how important grieving was. Going through it was dark but coming out on the other side was worth it. Absolutely worth it. Another reason being aware of ourselves is so important. Recognizing the moments we need to rest, forgive, heal, love on ourselves. They all lead to a better us that we can share with the world. 

So ask yourself this question right now. Do you need to grieve? Do you need to release a hurt? Is there a load weighing you down emotionally and physically? If so please take that time for yourself. It is highly important and quite worth it. Remember. You won’t be alone in it either. “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalms‬ ‭23‬:‭4‬ ‭NIV‬‬)