I Thought I Failed…

"God's plan for your life far exceeds the circumstances of your day." - Unknown

Earlier this year I decided to take risks. Not one. Not two but many. I had opportunities placed in front of me and your girl Soko who has always played it safe decided to close both eyes and jump. I jumped and jumped and jumped again. I placed money on the line. I was willing to leave my career. I was changing the trajectory for our lives. Mine and my kids. I thought my life was going to change and started planning around all of these risks.

I couldn’t believe it, as I was doing it. I applied to work in admissions in a high school after working in TV news for 16 years. But my kids were worth it. I would do anything for them. I was going to go for less pay. My schedule would be different. My life would be different. My career especially would be different. There was a preschool next door and I applied for my son to go there. As you see, your girl was running hard and running fast. The whole time I would look to God and say I did it! Our plan was in action. It was all so perfectly placed it would fall in line together. Then I got the call.

The high school called. They weren’t sure if we were a perfect fit. All of us. My heart dropped. That wasn’t the plan. How were we not the perfect fit? I had jumped God. Why was a wall coming up? I couldn’t believe it. It was soon followed by my son being waitlisted. It felt like fail just kept popping up one after the other. I was rejected and it did not feel good. I looked up to God. I thought we had a plan. You know what He said back? I do have a plan and it’s going well. I paused. I needed to take a long pause in fact and think on the response. 

God is in charge. He knows what’s best. What I had seen as failure was just my plan not working. I had been praying for what was best for my kids to take place and it was taking place. Just not the way I planned it. He already knew the best school for them but I had grabbed the baton from him and was running in the wrong direction. My failure wasn’t failure.

I had gotten lost and needed to come back to the original plan He had laid out. 

Sadly the bright colors had distracted me and not the heart of a place that would actually fit my girls perfectly. They did get accepted into a school that is diverse and in a great location and has a great curriculum and activities and student life that they love. They were very excited when they found out they got in. My son also ended up at an amazing preschool nearby. God’s plan was a better plan by far. It is a great reminder that He knows us far better than we ever could.

In that season, I learned a great lesson. Not every failure is an actual fail. It was God turning me back to the right path. He closed that door and I cried and complained. He has amazing compassion to forgive us and love us no matter what. I hope my story helps you think back through your failures to see the ones that aren’t. Those were the saves.