Stronger

Tough times never last but tough people do - Robert H Schuller 

We have all heard that phrase. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. That phrase is true but at the same time I’m thinking I’d rather not get that close to death. Is there no other way to get stronger? Like a pill or a good book or something. I’m all for improving in any way we can. But no pain no gain is not really that comfortable. Can you imagine a world where a good nap gives you a six pack. Or a nice massage makes you ace tests. What a world that would be. Also nothing would make any sense. That’s why God is in charge and I am not. 

We have been going through life on a journey that includes ups and downs. Those ups and downs include self doubt, confusion, questions, fear, victories, courage, confidence, answers. I have felt lost so many times. I have a fear of making the wrong decision. Once again to avoid pain which as you know I absolutely dislike. So decisions are a huge deal for me. It was easier as a child because my parents made most of the decisions. But as I got older and it fell on my shoulders it became quite the task for me. Especially once I had kids depending on my decisions. 

Then there are the moments of feeling so discouraged. Feeling like a failure. Feeling hopeless. I have no idea what’s going on. I don’t know what to do or where to turn. Like the confusion is just swallowing me whole. But you fight and fight. You pray and pray. You hang on to hope praying for God to save you. To guide you. To help you. In the meantime you continue to fight those ugly thoughts. You say your affirmations. You work out to stay sane. You play music to remain calm. You watch TV to get your head off of your own drama.

Someone else’s world always seems easier to deal with that’s for sure.

You confide in friends and lean on others. But in those quiet moments it finds you again. It taunts you again. The Bible becomes your best friend. You’re quoting it like nobody’s business. You are watching sermons like your life depends on it. How do you get out of this struggle? How do you get free from this torment? 

While all of this is going on, you are growing. You are learning. You are getting stronger and you don’t even realize it. It’s a quiet action going on in your brain. In your body. After push-ups, you can’t physically see the muscles growing. But they are getting stronger. And so is your character. Why? Because you stuck with it. You stayed on this journey. You kept taking that next step. You kept pushing. All you felt was pain and anguish and sadness. Then one day you look back and suddenly things seem different. You feel different. You just went through that maze back there and didn’t realize it. You my dear didn’t die like you thought you would. You just got stronger.