Scars

“Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” - John‬ ‭12‬:‭24‬ ‭NIV‬‬

We all have scars. There are scars we get from our carelessness or mistakes. There are scars we will never understand no matter how hard we try. There are some scars that were inevitable. There was nothing we could have done to stop these scars from happening. There were no decisions, or chances or change of hearts or left turns that could have prevented these scars. No matter what, they were going to happen. Loss, hurt, pain, and trauma. They came your way, and you wish you could erase it all. If you were to turn back time and make some changes, would you take that chance? What does it mean for your future if you were to completely take it away? Who would you be if you could?

It has been said you should never mess with time. There are huge consequences for that action. They are shown in superhero movies, time traveling tv shows, you name it. When it comes to real life, it still stands true. Taking it away and bringing them back sounds amazing, but you could be different. They could be different. Your future could be different. Hoping they never left would completely change where you are today. Your strength would not be the same. Your accomplishments would not be the same. Pause and think about where your life seems to be headed then think about where it could have been. 

‘If that attack had never happened’ is something I wish for all the time. But then I wonder if I would have the empathy for the victims that have gone through what I have. Would I be able to help them the way I can now? It hurt like hell. It left a huge scar in my life. It sometimes feels like the thorn Paul talks about when he prayed to God to take it away, but claimed how God carries him through (2 Corinthians 12:1-10). God is carrying you through. God will carry you through. Your scar could be saving countless others that you encounter, and you have no clue.

This broken world needs those scars, because you understand loss, the hurt, the pain and the trauma. 

Take those scars away and others are lost without hope. Take it away and you lose that strength, that wisdom, that knowledge, that empathy. It sounds crazy but I honestly believe that losing my husband made me a different person. I would never have discovered what I was capable of doing. I never would know my strength. I would give anything in the world for him to be here, but I also know that the person I have become is different from the person I was becoming. Each miscarriage added to understanding how precious life is. How one minute it could be here and the next gone. How much of a blessing children are.

Life is too short and too priceless to waste it on not seeing exactly what it is. Being thankful for the little things after experiencing lack, grateful for experiences after being trapped, living to the fullest after almost dying, yearning and desiring more after almost losing, knowing and understanding that your scar is a reminder of something terrible that hopefully pushes you to fight for something better. That fighter is in you. What happened to you could have destroyed you but you came out with a scar and yet are still moving forward. You should be so proud. We wish our scars never existed but our inevitable scars pushed us to where we are.