It’s Not Your Fault

“Just because it is explainable, doesn’t mean it’s excusable.” - Unknown

There are certain words that take a huge toll on your life. Some unfortunately bad, but some in an amazing way. These words were said to me in two different moments that both held true and were absolutely needed to be said. Otherwise I don’t know how I would have gotten through. Those two moments were when I went through my season of miscarriages and when I was trying to leave an abusive relationship. I’m here now to share those words with you. 

It’s not your fault. They chose to hurt you. You didn’t make them do it. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way. If someone mistreated you or called you names or said bad things about you, it’s not your fault. Even if they say I love you after all the intentional hurt, attacks and mean things. Even if they tell you they can’t live without you. That they can’t help themselves. No matter what reason they give, it should not fall on you as the one responsible for any of it. They should never lay hands on you without your permission. Regardless of how you look or what you say. You were not asking for it. Please don’t take that blame. No matter how many times they imply or say it, it is not your fault. You deserve respect regardless. You deserve love regardless. You deserve peace regardless. As long as you are human and breathing you deserve good things. Your background, life story or anything you or they come up with doesn’t matter. Nothing makes it okay for you to be mistreated. It is not your fault. 

Repeating that phrase to yourself over and over can help it sink in.

I want you to grasp it and accept it as your new story. You’ve heard enough lies up until this point. These lies repeat unwillingly that we need to speak louder over them. It’s not your fault they cheated. It’s not your fault they hit you. It’s not your fault you were lied to. Those arguments are not on you alone. Those kids were not made by you alone. That burden is not for you to bear. Only a coward would cross the line then blame you for making them do it. It is not your fault. The last thing they want you to do is to understand that. To know the whole truth. That you are actually the victim here and not them. They want you to bear that guilt so they don’t have to. They want you to carry that burden of responsibility for their terrible actions. But you my dear, did nothing wrong. 

No more blaming yourself. No more putting yourself down. Their mistreatment of you leads to you to do the same to yourself. They have lowered your self esteem with their ways, as we begin to find ourselves believing their words. This in turn causes us to allow others to do the same to us as well. A terrible awful pit dug for someone who is far above and beyond special in every way. Bullies only attack those they see as intimidating. They want to bring down your light so they shine brighter. Don’t allow it. Understand once again that you deserve good things. You deserve love. You deserve respect. It is not your fault.

You were created with love. You are already loved. You are bold, you are strong. You are beautiful. You are gifted. You are talented. You are important and always will be. I want to end this on all of the amazing and true things that you are. Because their chaos has nothing to do with you. I want to make that clear and separate you from it. You are absolutely not a part of that darkness nor did you create it. Your future is still bright. Your past will not takeover you. Your present is constantly changing. Remember who you are and whose you are. It is not your fault.